Went to catch PS I Love You at Lido today before it's gone for good. It was said to be very touching show but it was quite normal to me. I dunno why but I can feel it being close to me.. From the first quarrelling scene to all the things that the husband did for the wife... It all made sense, if you know what I mean.

_______________________

I still remember....

5 years ago I got back my O level results and I did like shit. I did my daily work and was expecting results like 12 or 13 points, but I got 17. I wanted to get into Temasek JC at that time but with 17 points, I was wondering if I could even get into TPJC. I went home and cried. Cried so hard that my pillow was wet and my mum had to leave me alone. Life did not go according to what I wanted and I was disappointed with myself. I hated myself.

And there I went. To a shit college called TPJC. I did not want to be there. I had a choice to go poly but I chose this path, partly because many of my friends went there. I did not know why I was there. So I decided to sleep during lectures, make noise when I wasn't sleeping so that people can hate me, not do my tutorials, act xia lan, play squash like I was in college for that, slept at times like 7pm and being awake at 2am. I suffered.

End 2004 I got back my A level results. It was worse than the shit I got in 2002. But I didn't cry this time. I deserved this shit.

I put my studies at the back of my mind, moving on to serve my country, hoping to find my breakthrough. As usual, I did not perform in BMT and went to SISPEC instead of OCS. I asked myself what did I do wrong, which I realised my dream was empty. I did not plan steps and execute to make it happen.

End of SISPEC, I finally got a choice in my life. I could choose where I wanted to go. I was given a chance to choose the unit I wanted to go and was even given the chance to be a platoon sergeant at some shit unit (I thought the warrent wanted to give me the chance). I chose Guards. I wanted to make full use of the time in army and decided suffering was the way to go. And I wanted to stick with Ben and made a difference to the place we go to. And we did.

Today at this moment, I am in total control of my life. I am studying something which I like and I am going to make the difference at the shit institute. I plan ahead for whatever I do and whatever I intend to do in future. I plan. And I plan ahead with obstacles so as to avoid it with many alternate paths to the destination. I dream when I am idling. I don't complain about the time I have on my hands. You have 24 hours, so do I. The difference is that I make full use of it. Words like First Class Honours, CFA, ACCA, INSEAD, banker, broker, trader, private trader, 4-room flat, private estate, en-bloc, marriage, children, retirement probably don't piece up nicely to you. Too bad.

Even if I don't get the 100 pounds award from UOL for topping a subject, even if I don't pin my name up in the Hall of Fame, I won't cry anymore. For I know I have done my best.

My dream for my time in SIM is to pin my name up as the top student for at least 8 out of the 12 slack modules in this degree program. Once again, don't call me a university student. I am not from NUS or NTU or SMU. These people are the pillars of our society. I will be the cream.

Come walk with me, the best is yet to be.

Embarked on an adventure to Mount Faber with my buddy yesterday to recce and see whether it is a suitable place to bring our partners up. He claims that there's nothing nice in Singapore to see and would rather save the travelling money and stay home and sleep. I think otherwise. So we decided on walking up Mount Faber, all ready for an adventure, totally clueless about the area where we start our trip. That area is called "zhi luo bu lan ya", yea Telok Blangah.

Did some research and found out that there are different places where we can start off, including Telok Blangah, Henderson Road and Temenggong Road. Decided on the first but we didn't alight at the right bus stop. Had to walk 1km before we see the sign:


Mount Faber Park

The route up made us itchy, niam niam, tired but amused. Saw squirrels climbing trees at lightning speeds and different coloured birds jumping around in the forest. The smell of the jungle reminded me of army, which was quite nostalgic (haha) though not very pleasant.


Shag

There was nothing much on top. Seriously. We concluded that the place is not suitable to walk up at all. The only way up with a girl is a car. Clocked more than 5 km (with altitude) on this trip.


Lots of bends along the way. You don't know when it is going to end.
So we just kept walking.

Under construction.

让我照顾你

When everybody else is fretting over whether they can pass their exams, here I am pondering whether I can top the cohort Zone (read: Asia Pacific).

"If you think you can, you can. If you think you cannot, you are right."

我要考状元.

Today is the fourth day of Chinese New Year and I believe most of us are done with visiting. Prior to CNY, I was thinking that as we grow older the atmosphere gets thinner. Two days before CNY I still could not feel any excitement.

The feeling came during CNY eve on the dining table. It has been nearly a month since I last saw food cooked by my mother. The nature of her job is such that it gets so busy 3 weeks before CNY that I hardly see her home before 8 pm. I was nearly moved to tears when I tasted my mum's cooking. I'm not joking. Eating outside food for dinner really sucked. I missed her cooking and the taste of chinese new year food.

Family visiting usually gets done in day one. My family warmth is overwhelming. It is a kind of feeling that cannot be described using words. Maybe it had been quite some time since I last went for the weekly family gathering due to work committments. One whole day of joy and laughter.

Normally when we talk about money we always say that everything is getting more expensive but your pay still remains the same. Surprisingly, my ang pow money is inflation-adjusted at 10%. Wahahahaa. Got less ang pows due to missing out on some relatives (which doesn't matter), which made my probability calculation more impressive. The phenomena is that I get more blue notes than purple notes for a few years ongoing. This year, the probability that an ang pow contains a blue note is 0.5, and the probability it contains more than one blue note given that there is at least one blue note is 0.5 again. No use extorting from me though. I keep less than 0.5 of the total. ha


#06-344 the gambling den


As long as there is a table. Size doesn't matter.
All ages welcomed as long as you know how to count to 21.


Bak Kwa + Carlsberg.
angmoh say "cheers". chinese say "yammm seng". we say "nahhh beh"