Today was a bad day in school. Had PBF lecture and everything went wrong. First was the class test. It was so easy but I did it wrongly, unsure of my own answer and by the time I realised the correct answer I started to panic. I shivered. I shivered cos I was afraid I couldn't finish. I shivered cos it was so easy and I got it wrong.

The test did not carry any weightage towards my overall performance but I was afraid that the same thing would happen when the real exam comes. It will be 3 and a half years since the last major exam so I don't really know what to expect.

Upon handing in the paper, we took back our previous class test. I got 19/25. I felt so disgusted with myself. I was expecting 22 if not full marks. How to be the top 10% like that? Maybe my expectation of myself is extraordinary, but I won't settle for anything below 70 in this slack programme. My classmate told me 19x4 = 76% which is equal to first class honours, I felt like giving him one bloody tight slap. I don't know how it can be measured like this when the test is only on one chapter. He got 15 and was over the skies. I seriously don't know what's wrong with all this "university students" thinking. Disgusting.

I began to wonder... What is the reason I can't find someone whom I can click with in class? Why don't anyone share the same drive towards academic excellence? Those people in SIM will certainly know what I mean, more than 70% of the people cannot be bothered at all. I'm sure if you take a look at NUS or NTU, the people who study hard, whether with or without a purpose, or just to prove they are better than the foreigners, will make up more than 70%.

Once again, I'm being put in an environment that don't give me the strength to achieve.

Finished reading a book in one week is not easy for me, I don't know why. It could be due to the fact that my command of english is not good enough, or may be the fact that the books I read are 90% non-fiction with heavy content. Nonetheless, I had not been doing my routine revision just to finish this.

It seems that I've just finished an academic semester. Though we do not have any exams at this time of the year, major topics have been concluded. In Principles of Banking and Finance (PBF), we have covered Principles of Finance, in Principles of Accounting (POA), we are done with Financial Accounting, in Introduction to Economics, we ended Microeconomics (which is such a bitch) and finally, Maths I is so simple that I'm starting to miss it.

Given the way that the syllabus are spread, I feel there should be exams and not cramp everything to the end of the academic year. As if 100% weightage on exams isn't enough, we have only one attempt on the full 100%. It's not funny.

However, I do believe that daily preparation is enough. I was taught this way in primary school and everything seems so familiar now. 4 subjects in the report card and each scoring no less than 80. I still remember how it was done and I'm capable of reproducing it again. Like what KH said, if 9 people are in the same course of study, read and listen only to what is being taught, they will score marks that we call the "norm". Now put me in as the tenth student, I go a step further to find out more and produce a different answer out of the norm, I will be the top 10% of the cohort. Yes, it works that way.

Individuals do not follow statistics, statistics are made up of individuals.

You know, inflation is pushing the prices of everything up except my pay. My family's favourite Walls Magum ice cream that used to cost $7.70 is now $8.70. Chocolate bars no longer cost $1.20. It rose 25% to $1.50.



All his fault for keeping interest rates so low for so long in the past causing the subprime crisis we are facing now. Sucker. Still can smile until so happy.



Happy sia. so bo liao. hahaha

Many many memories flooded back today. Went out for a run and saw someone familiar, an acquintance that I knew from NCC some years back. I was running and she was with a group of friends walking in the opposite direction towards me. I think she recognised me but dared not call me. I stared at her but she looked down. haha youngsters nowadays very ill-mannered. tsk tsk tsk.

On my way home, I saw a car with a L-plate. It was my instuctor with his auto car. He waved as he drove past me. So nice of him to still remember me after 3 months.

Came back home and saw Jiale on msn with a sad nick. He just broke up with his girlfriend. He told me, "I think i'm not ready and the girl like ignore me". I gave him 3 words that I came across in a book...

"Love without ownership". It's a phrase that I think has no defined meaning, up to the individual to interpret. He asked me what it means, but I couldn't even give him my answer...

After that he said something that I used to tease him when we stayed together in the same bunk few months ago

"Eh tonight go out leh, I treat u eat ice cream, steady. But u pay first."

Hhahahahaha to think he still remember. All these little things that made us happy in that shithole that was never clean and never would be. I hope he can come SIM to accompany me for the rest of time there.

______
Memories
Conversation with a legend (me)

Me (upon seeing 3 of them walking towards SP coy, ba long long): OI!! WHERE THE 3 OF U GOING?

Jiale, Yangjie, ZhenZhou: Errr... We are from ATGM...

Me: I FUCK you understand. Haven't even go for course yet, u call yourself ATGM?! AND WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR HEADDRESS?

them: .............. (scrambling to get their berets on their head in the shortest possible time)

I will never forget the idiot face Yangjie gave me that day. future NS CSM hahahaha

(They would never forget and never dreamed that they would be bunking in with me. Nonetheless, we lived happily until I ORD)

12 hours school - 15 hours work. This is my schedule every week. This week, due to a public holiday, it became 6 hours school - 26 hours work. A lot of things still undone and Econs test is next thurs. And let me tell you, LSE Econs is a bitch and I feel exhausted. Not from the stress from school work (SIM is damn slack) but from the long work hours into the night.

I dropped my watch real hard this morning when I came home from work. The "second" hand dropped off and I thought it is spoilt for good. It happened at 2.35am and I wasn't sure whether it is still moving so I left it there hoping that it would tell me the correct time when I check it again. The next time I checked was 3.35am. The minute hand was still fixed at 7 so I thought it was dead. Fact is, I did not look properly... It must be feeling damn sad that I thought it died when it struggled so hard to live just so that I can wear it out proudly again..

I just took a look at it and it's now at 3.35pm. I don't know whether this is a coincidence or what...

"Even a broken watch is right twice a day."